What Is Failure In A Season Of Pride?

Apologies, lies and the canvas of life

As the dog and I drifted through the forest in the dimming dusk we saw the trolls and fairies and pixies and gnomes and banshees and spirits flickering through the canvas of light and shadow. They were everywhere, tip-toeing, darting and scampering between the trunks as they peeked and watched us, lurking in the twilight and whispering in the trees.

I took a deep breath and paused for a moment for I knew these creatures were living in the magic lantern of my mind, a projection of meaning onto the canvas of life. I held this ancient world in my mind for a moment as I filled the emptiness of the void with my thoughts.

When the dog and I returned I wrote this for you.

Enjoy.

Photo by Nicolas HIPPERT on Unsplash

Napoleon once said that “History is a set of lies that people have agreed upon”. He was only half right. He should really have said the past, the present and the future is a set of lies people agree upon. Or to be more more charitable, the past, the present and the future are all one great canvas into which we project a scanty version of the infinite. And as far as agreements go, I don’t remember getting an invite to that meeting. Maybe they didn’t want anyone pointing out any naked Emperors. No thanks, they thought, lets just watch the nice projection and get on with our lives thank you very much.

For me, one of the exhausting (or terrifying) aspects of today’s atomised world is how many different competing projections there are. Everyone is trying to sell their own “truth” for their own mostly spurious reasons. Napoleon’s world, where there was (allegedly) a “people” who “agreed” upon a “set of lies”, doesn’t exist anymore (and probably never did). Today there are so many competing groups all demanding that their “set of lies” is the only valid one. It’s exhausting. Which projection is closest to the truth? What even is the truth anymore?

The political and economic world is so fragmented and fractured with multiple versions of the (so-called) “truth” all projected onto the same screens at the same time. Making sense of anything is almost impossible. Competing factions spout fakery to justify their power grabs whilst others make power grabs to justify their fakery. The clowns have donned white coats and taken over the circus.

Photo by Gavin Allanwood on Unsplash

Ok, so three paragraphs into this Arsenal Wonderland post and you might be wondering what on Earth has this got to do with Arsenal? Can’t we leave all this craziness out of our football world and just enjoy the game? Isn’t there any oasis free of this clown madness? Well, of course there is. There is one peaceful place of sanity in this clownish world. And that place is you my friend. You are the oasis free from the madness. The thing is, being an oasis takes a little effort, but don’t worry, I’ve laid out the groundwork for you right here. Let’s start with the little matter of expectations.

To keep a level head in this crazy clownish world you have to keep your feet on the ground and your expectations in check. The first thing to remember is that there is going to be a difference between what you want and what you get. Yeah, I know, an obvious point, but put up your hand now if life has delivered exactly what you “wanted” exactly as you imagined it would. Nope, no hands? Of course not. Even though we know we’re being sold of a bunch of pre-cooked table-ready false expectations we still devour them and then feel somewhat deflated at their hollowness and our emptiness.

Life is an unpredictable mass of uncontrollable interrelated happenings of which we witness but a tiny slither. Yet we still have a powerful inclination to believing that tiny slither is the totality. That’s what Napoleon was referring to when he said “a set of lies that people have agreed upon”. Those lies are the thin slither within the block of all happenings and we claim them to be the truth because it suits us to do so and because we’re somehow predisposed to believe our projections.

The only way to get beyond this crazy clownish tendency is to first accept that we are constructing a reality of our own, and then, we need to construct a whole new type of reality. Ok, at this point you might think Whoa, hold your horses there Arsenal Wonderland, this sounds like a way too complicated metaphysical coping mechanism just to justify Brighton coming to Arsenal and winning! You’re as mad as the clowns you’re denigrating! Maybe, maybe not, but let me lay out my reasoning here and then we can decide who’s wearing the clown face.

Screen grab from You Tube

This season has been a triumph. Under Arteta Arsenal has performed incredibly well. Way beyond expectations. The statistics for goals scored and derbies won and clean sheets kept are within the Invincible’s range! We’ve developed the best young talent in Europe who’ve played front foot attacking football thats kept us in contention the entire season long. We’ve played beautiful football and enjoyed a unity and positivity within the fanbase that makes the whole precarious nature of being a fan worth the effort.

Then there’s the Bournemouth game. The Liverpool game. The Newcastle at St James game. The flow of our game. The double over Tottenham and that Partey goal. Martin Ødegaard. Bakayo Saka. Gabriel Martinelli. William Saliba. That Reiss Nelson goal (I know, I know, but that deserves a mention all of its own). The Aston Villa comeback and that Jorginho goal. The Man U comeback. The Fulham comeback. Arteta roaming the touchline. The redemption of Granit Xhaka. The Zinchenko Effect. Ian Wright being Ian Wright. The launch of Arsenal Wonderland (oh come on, that’s got to be a highlight ;) The list goes on and on.

And yet within the Arsenal Universe I hear the rumblings of dissatisfaction. The pinging of the slings and arrows of discontent. I’ve heard calls for heads to roll and blame to be taken. This player is too vulnerable and that decision to rash. I’ve even heard the B word. Yes, bottling has been bandied about rejuvenating those hideous Zombie Narratives that we’ve tried so hard to extinguish over the years.

So I end up thinking to myself, am I crazy to have loved this season? Am I missing something I shouldn’t have? Maybe I’m merely uncomfortable with conflict and anger? Certainly an understandable feeling in this hair-trigger clown-driven world. Or maybe it’s my own expectations that are far too high, expecting gentle contemplation in the very moment of our anguish? Maybe it’s me that’s making too much of all this? '

Photo by James Kirkup on Unsplash

And I’m drawn to the conclusion that I’m driven by a kind of metaphysical disappointment that IF we are actually making the world up as we go along, and IF we are projecting onto the great canvas of life a scanty version of what could be, WHY cant we just project a more beautiful, generous and forgiving one?

I wonder if the precarious nature of our tumultuous times is encouraging such clemency in my footballing attitude? I wonder, when I see such poverty and anguish and inequality and insecurity suffered by so many of us humans, being met by pointing fingers and bared teeth, I wonder what we’re thinking? And I’m wondering why are we projecting such a cold and hard world onto the canvas of life?

I’m accept that our team is made of beautiful faulty humans just like me. I’m ok that we gave it our all and it just wasn’t quite enough. I’m satisfied that the journey of life is all we’re ever going to experience and the fictional destination is fleeting and arbitrary. I’m ok with keeping on keeping on in order to conquer those tiny margins and squeeze that last few points that drag us over the line. But most of all I’m hoping that somehow football fandom can encourage tolerance and kindness and the humility that seems to be missing in our wider world.

For the first time this season I feel gently out of sync with Mikel Arteta because I don’t want the apology he offered after the Brighton game. I’m just grateful to our whole squad and for this wonderful season and I’m grateful to Arteta for everything he’s done so far and everything he’s going to do in the future. We’ve going to come second. We’re back in the Champions League and we heading into next season with a new vigour and everything to play for.

So Let’s make Napoleon’s “set of lies” the best set of lies we can come up with by projecting the most beautiful vision we can imagine onto this canvas of life, let’s revel in our joy as we push back against this crazy clownish world and its bizarre divisions.

Thank you for reading Arsenal Wonderland dear reader, have a wonderful week until next Tuesday when AW returns with a more football-based projection onto the canvas of life.