The NLD - Not Likely Donkeys!
Witches? Gods? Prayers? Who Cares?
After my piece Arsenal And The Roman Army where I suggested that the mixture of pain, confusion and acceptance in the losing manager’s expression was a way of understanding Arsenal’s dominance, this week I’m almost embarrassed to bring that up again. I like Thomas Frank, even if he did do a deal with the Devil and move to White Hart Lane. So I am loath to describe his desperate, goggle-eyed, actually-died-two-weeks-ago, drowned shrew, panicked death mask of an expression. So I won’t. Poor fella. All I’ll say is if you want to see a diametrically opposite expression to Frank’s grandfather on a roller-coaster terror mask look no further than Eze’s calm full glow smile at full time.
So let’s start this week’s piece with Eberechi Eze, who scored a fantastic hat trick in his first NLD, AND the first player to score a hat trick in the NLD for 50 years. Eze is surely bewitched by the good witches who are doing their best to make his every dream come true. But somehow I doubt it’s witches. Eze himself says, “I prayed for a hat trick and I got it today so I’m grateful to God, that’s faith man,” which is nice, but I doubt that too. I’m inclined to think it’s more about the years and years of hard work on top of natural born talent combined with and an amazing team of incredible footballer’s around him. But my philosophy is Live And Let Live so if Eze wants to attribute glory to his god it’s all good with me.
Personally, these days I feel a little reluctant to celebrate public displays of private faith at a time when various groups of people are claiming the support of one god or another and in doing so are causing their fair share of division, destruction and death the world over. Under the current circumstances I’m not too thrilled with about thanking God for goals. Maybe a little more time on peace, love and kindness from the Holy one would be appreciated. But at least we’ve found out on Sunday (of course) that if there is a god he/she/them are clearly an Arsenal fan, which is a good omen for the season at least!
Anyway, what Eze does measurably show is that we earthly creatures need patience. It takes the average person time to adjust and settle. Our expectations are continually redlining in a social system that demands a conveyor belt of instant gratification, but we humans are not AI robots nor watched over by supernatural beings, we’re just humans with all the complex human conditional experience that entails.
Since Eze joined Arsenal I’ve had the slight impression that he’s been a tiny little bit overwhelmed by having all his dreams come true. Who wouldn’t be? We all know about his journey and struggle to regain recognition at the club he supported as a boy through to a man. We all saw the fawning (and wonderful) interview with Ian Wright, the on-pitch reveal at The Emirates, the social media love-in and there are undoubtedly private conversations with family and friends which have all added pressure on to Eberechi. And it seemed to me that he needed a little time to shake it all off and get back to being the humble man we know and love. But even a humble man can get a little overwhelmed.
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But for whatever reason he shook it off at the perfect time. During the NLD Eze played with a supreme swagger that became more oiled and confident as the goals rained in. He looked like the player he was at Crystal Palace where he played with a confidence he hasn’t quite matched at Arsenal, until now when he re-found his casual assassin mode. In this match he seemed to slow down and play with that calm considered coolness needed when match mayhem is whooshing all around. He played with that instinctive flow that Ødegaard has, that Saka has, that all the top players manage to develop in the most extreme circumstances, playing as if they’re lucid dreaming. And what a dream it turned out to be.
In fact the whole game was something of dream for Arsenal (and a nightmare for Spurs). Trossard was a zigzagging trickster, darting about with the face of a furious goblin as he whisked through space and time causing his unique brand of chaos. Trossard has become the epitome or someone grabbing their chance with both hands when offered. He is refusing to be a bit-part player and instead he’s carving his name into Arsenal’s history books. What a season he’s having.
And what about Declan Rice? He’s transformed into Mr Arsenal, which is a little weird considering we have so much home grown Academy talent, but there’’s something about Declan, something about the way he marches about the pitch like a stallion in a paddock owning the place with his wild attitude. The guy embodies the club and the team with his never-say-die attitude. It’s like he’s made with the DNA of Tony Adams, Patrick Viera and David Rocastle. The man was immense on Sunday, and undoubtedly he’ll be immense on every other day of the week as well. Cheapest 105 million pound player in football history!
And Zubimendi, who has the defensive assuredness of a medieval castle, his line break passes are extraordinary and his interceptions are like being robbed by a hitherto unseen ghost. On top of all that he controls the speed and pace of a match like a Time Lord. It’s funny because there’s been so much talk about players getting bigger and stronger but the signing of the season could have been a jockey! Zubimendi is in the same category as a David Silva or a Santi Carzola, one of those small, intelligent and highly technical players that defies conventional wisdom.
Talking of defying conventions. There was a lot of Zombie Narrative about Big Gabby being a massive loss for Arsenal, especially this week. Well, may I present Piero Hincapie, who along with Christian Mosquera must be two of the most plug and play players we’ve ever had. These two frankly destroy my theory above about people needing time to adjust and settle. Maybe they’re superhuman in some way, who knows, anything seems possible these days. But what is obvious is that both Hincapie and Mosquera have played with the skill and confidence of regular first teamer’s every time they’ve been called upon which is a brilliant display of the depth and skill that are now synonymous with this Arsenal team.
It’s also true to say that Spurs didn’t create much, especially when compared to a team like the newly promoted Sunderland, but they did manage a superb against-the-run-of-play strike by that guy with the terrible neck tattoos (the one moment the castle walls fell) which reminded them for about ten minutes that they were playing a game of football. Then normal programming returned and they got steamrollered by a far superior team.
There is an immense gap between Arsenal and Spurs which was brought up by Thomas Frank (who apparently did his post match interview in a wind tunnel or is that just his look?), when he mentioned how long he’d been at his club compared to how long Arteta had been at Arsenal. Well, I’ll give him points for originality because that’s certainly not an excuse José Mourinho, Ryan Mason, Cristian Stellini, Antonio Conte, Nuno Espirito Santo, or Ange Postecoglou could have used when they got slaughtered in the NLD. That’s why he earns the big bucks I guess.
The truth is the difference between the two clubs is a cultural phenomenon. Spurs have had 17 managers since 2001 whilst Arsenal have had 3 (not including the interim period with Freddie Ljungberg). The trust and commitment Arsenal show to their manager’s philosophy reveals itself on the pitch, as does the trust Spurs shoe their managers. Arteta has been given the time and the support needed, besides the fact he was a brilliant (and audacious) choice for manager in the first place. All football clubs could learn something from Arsenal’s cultural and managerial approach but Spurs especially.
This cultural approach is also part of Arsenal DNA. Just look at the fan base. It’s funny how many commentators talk about “Arsenal fans” as if we were some homogenous group of look-a-likes. Arsenal fans are a diverse group of people from all walks of life, from very different opportunity levels and from all around the globe, brought together by a love for this club. Sunday’s game, which was the biggest win over Spurs so far in Arteta’s managership, was a huge pleasure for all of us no matter where we’re from or what kind of philosophy we hold about life and that’s one of the wonderful things about football, the ability it has to bring people together instead of dividing us.
Eze was asked by a cheeky pitch side reporter if he thought about the fact that had the summer worked out differently he could have had a different shirt on today, a Tottenham shirt? He replied by saying “Let’s not speak about that,” and although I know what he means (will the Zombie Narrative Commentators ever let us enjoy a win without some ridiculous spin on it?), in the spirit of football I offer my condolences to our neighbours in North London for their loss and a huge congratulations to all fellow Arsenal fans on our fantastic victory not matter where you come from or what god you believe in, let just rejoice in the fact we’re all one happy family brought together in Red and White.
So there you go, let’s hope we can rewrite a bit more history on Wednesday evening against Bayern Munich, I’m even open to Eze getting on his hotline and asking for another favour :)
Have a great week folks and fingers crossed for the next two games!
Wonderful piece as always J. Can I offer a slightly different narrative for Eze: rather than being a ‘little overwhelmed’ it’s more that he’s adjusting to a different position and different requirements at Arsenal and he’s still showing flashes of his brilliance (see the goal against his old club and the assist for Martinelli vs City etc).
Also have you seen the XG stats vs Bayern (the ‘best’ and ‘most free scoring team in Europe’ no less!). This is a team that keeps on giving. COYG!
Really good post and very enjoyable read as always